Afternoon Delight

Precious Child

There are so many "mom" moments that take my breath away.

The look on Asher's face every morning when I reach in to pull him out of his crib...
The giggles that erupt from our little man as he watches the dog play with her toys or sneeze...
The smile he gets when I walk into the room and he hears or sees me after a long day at work...
The way he cuddles into my chest when he doesn't feel good and the comfort he finds there...
The way he breathes as he finally sleeps after a long day of play...
The way he smells after splashing in the bathtub...

I love every sense that I experience with our son...and every day I am amazed at how blessed we have been.

On Tuesday Asher turned 10 months old. I cannot believe how the time has flown...it seems so cliche to say, but it literally feels like we just brought him home and were figuring out how to be new parents. Occasionally, I think about the night of his birth...a dark, cold evening in February. While he was being birthed into this world, Jake and I were purchasing a dishwasher and a big screen TV. Certainly, the story is amusing, even funny, and very true. But sometimes, if I really let myself think about it, it makes me sad. I missed one of the biggest moments of my son's life...the moment when he first breathed, first cried, first LIVED outside of the womb that carried him for 9 months. I.missed.that.

It doesn't bother me that I didn't carry him. I don't yearn for pregnancy. But things like the day when we received his post-adoption birth certificate in the mail are difficult for me. A bittersweet day, letting us know, YES, we are legally this child's parents forever and ever...However, upon inspecting the document, it states his date and time of birth, and then lists us as his parents. But we weren't there. We were at Best Buy and we didn't even know about him yet. We.weren't.there. That part makes my heart flutter with pain sometimes.

But, the redeeming aspect is that he wasn't alone. Our son was not alone in his first breaths, his first cries, his first moments of life. She was there...she who quietly carried him, under her sweatshirts for 9 months, and then sweat and cried and pushed him into the world that cold February night. She fed him, and held him, and LOVED him before us. And that makes my heart swell....to know that she was there for him, before we were. For that I am forever grateful.

I am filled with gratitude. Perhaps voicing my thanks feels awkward to her, but I have to say it. Maybe she feels she doesn't deserve actual thanks....maybe it's not the right word....but I do love her and I'm grateful for the sacrifices and choices she made. She not only gave life, but gave me the opportunity to be a mom, and not just a mom, but the mom of the most beautiful, happy boy in the whole world. My boy. Our boy...OUR boy.
He was hers first...to love, to care for, to dream about...and then she gave that amazing, glorious gift to us.

The gift of a precious child.

THANK YOU.

Christmas Traditions

We got our first "sticky snow" yesterday, so...I guess winter has officially arrived. I have to accept that snowshovels & mittens will be a way of life again for the next few months. Don't let me fool you...as much as I may whine about cold, wintery weather, I LOVE that Iowa has 4 discernible seasons.

This weekend I packed away the autumn/Thanksgiving decorations and began to pull out and organize the Christmas decorations and tree. I began listening to Christmas music last week....I love the way it puts me into a festive mood to really soak up all that this season means.

Last year Christmas was difficult. I didn't look forward to shopping for gifts, I couldn't truly get "in the spirit" no matter how many songs I listened to or how much I decorated my house. I guess I was more preoccupied than I thought I was with the "waiting game" that adoption brings. It was like I was not looking forward to so many aspects of this special season, and then all of a sudden it was all over and I was depressed that I had missed it.

So this year I'm determined to take it all in....go on the festive Christmas walks in town, bring out and put up all the Christmas decorations, ENJOY setting up and decorating the tree, relish the snow (instead of complaining about it), and read ALL of my favorite Christmas stories to Asher!

Indeed, these are a few of my favorite things! Tonight I read Baby's Christmas (one of my books...which was published in 1980....I looked!) and Jake read The Soldier's Night Before Christmas (which I picked out last year in hopes that he would someday read it to our child!) It's moments like that...watching my husband read a story to our son, that just take my breath away and bring tears to my eyes!

Here are the stockings that we'll hang, but this year we'll need a special one just for Asher. Also, peace and joy remind us of the wishes we have for our world and all the people living in it.

The toys on the shelf were a few of my favorites as a child. Not shocking that 2 are music boxes and the Santa on the trike makes noise as well!

And here is our beautiful tree...When I was growing up, my parents kept a list of the ornaments that my siblings and I received each year, so that when we moved out we could take our ornaments and remember every year that we pulled them out who gave them to us and when. I am so excited to start that tradition this year within our family, so that Asher can have a record of all of his special ornaments as well.

We'll certainly remember that above all, Jesus is the Reason for the Season!My parents bought us this Nativity set when we got married. As we grew up, it was always fun to pull out the Nativity and watch it grow ever year with the new townspeople or shepherds or the wise men or the animals. My siblings and I each have a creche, and a Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus in the manger, and someday we will each "inherit" 1/3 of the pieces from their set.

I can only imagine that Asher will love to move the pieces around just as much as my brother has loved to over the years.

There are many traditions we look forward to passing along to Asher and our future children over the years...and we can't wait to create our own. What are your favorite traditions in your family? Some others that we enjoy are going to Christmas Eve Mass and then enjoying dinner with mine and Jake's family at my parents' home. Dinner is usually lasagna, and there is some gift opening and lots of joy and laughter. We also make cut out cookies and frost and decorate them so that we can leave them with a note for Santa Claus. On Christmas day we make a cake shaped like a Christmas tree and all of my cousins and I decorate the cake. Then we place one small angel candle holder on there, and baby Jesus in his manger on top of the cake and we all gather 'round and sing "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus!" This tradition started (as far as I know) with my Great Grandma.

We look forward to an awe-inspiring, wondrous Christmas season this year.

Hope you enjoy every moment of yours, too!