I think about her...when I'm driving in the car, when I'm praying, when I'm reading, when I'm working, when I'm shopping...I don't even know her name, or where she lives, but she's on my mind a lot these days.
Lately I've found myself thinking of the birthmother of our future child. Our child is most likely not even conceived, yet that child's mother is somewhere out there in this world. I find myself daydreaming about her, wondering what she's like, what she looks like, what her passions are, and praying that she'll know that we were meant to raise the child she will bear.
I know....it sounds completely crazy to me, too. To be thinking of someone so often whom I don't even know...I assume she exists out there, but I assume because I have to. I have to believe she's out there, otherwise the reality of our child is in jeopardy.
I think about her name, her background, what makes her smile. Does she have a favorite color, and what sort of music makes her soul ache? It's odd to think that there is another woman out there in this world who I will someday share an immense connection with, and who knows where she is at this very moment?! I look around at the grocery store, at the mall, at church...is she there? Did she smile at me? Did I hold the door for her? Is she laughing as she chats with someone on her cell phone? Who IS she? Not just who is she, but really, truly, who IS she?
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I do this a lot too... but I think about our child, pray for our child, imagine what our child is doing. Because we feel that our child is already already born. I pray for our child daily that the Lord watch over him/her, comfort him/her, protect him/her. Prepare him/her to come to us, prepare us to be parents, etc.
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