Ladies...you understand. That lovely yearly "physical" as they like to call it, that we all must go through. When we get older they will stick our boobs between cold metal trays & squish them until we get tears in our eyes. Yearly we put ourself through this humiliation.
Fact 1: I was discussing this with my husband. If a man is to get his genetalia checked out, he can stand, or sit, comfortably, in pretty much any position he chooses. He can do the standing up, hands on the hips stance. "Here it is...check it out!" He can do the sitting down crossing his arms stance. "I don't care, do what you have to do." He can even do the "Captain Morgan" one leg up stance if he so chooses. "Ahhhhhhhhh." All while having his genetalia inspected (Unzip, turn your head & cough, *coughcough* zip.)
We, as women, must endure supreme humiliation to have our genetalia inspected. First, we must face the ever-present, always nagging question that we all go through around this time....
SOCKS OR NO SOCKS
I always struggle with this. Should I wear socks or not wear socks? Girls...you KNOW what I'm talking about! I myself prefer the sock route. Even if it's summer and I'm wearing sandals, I will pack a pair of socks in my purse so that, even though practically the rest of me is naked, I can be a bit modest by clothing my feet. At least I can be kind enough to wear socks while the Doctor has his face in my va-jay-jay, right?
Fact 2: There is no way to look lady-like, refined, or well-mannered when you are in the stirrups. Men will never understand the embarassment of this position. First they make you wear the stiff, nasty robe that is in THE most horrendous color and probably has some sort of stain that leaves you wondering "What is THAT?!" Then they give you "the sheet" to make you feel really modest (usually made of paper, but sometimes made of some 2 thread count rough stuff that might as well be a burlap sack). And let's not forget that it must be required to keep the room freezing cold. So you're sitting there waiting for the Doctor shivering, but additionally breaking out in a sweat. You better have picked some cute socks and done your hair, because the rest of this "ensemble" doesn't cut it for anyone. When there is a courtesy knock at the door you know what is coming. Feet up, lay back, scoot your butt to the end of the table. OK...keep scooting. Ok, your butt's not QUITE to the end of the table...keep scooting. Little more....butt needs to be at the end of the crinkly paper....GOOD! Seriously. This is THE most uncomfortable position EVER. And humiliating. I'm not even going to go through what they do to you after you scoot to the end of the table....
Men....we do this on a regular basis! Have some compassion for your wife, girlfriends, sisters, mothers, friends that must endure this craziness! Be nice to us. Give us hugs. Tell us how fabulous our hair looks and buy your girl some cute socks.
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